TheLookoutDiary

PROLONG A FRIENDSHIP BEFORE ANY RELATIONSHIP

In Relationships, Self Help on August 11, 2012 at 11:57 pm

Prolong a friendship for as long as possible. Plant the seeds before the tree is ready to grow and shoot.

Why do I say prolong a friendship? I say prolong a friendship for as long as possible because it allows the foundations to be planted deep in the soil. The soil is only rich if the foundations of a relationship is catered for and examined for a long time. What does that mean in plain English? What I am saying is before you jump into a relationship, hoping for the best without preparing for the worse, you need to make sure you understand the person you are going out with. I am not saying understand them perfectly, but fully make sure you and your future partner have similar interests. I have said before that values and beliefs are very important, but if the girl doesn’t like the same food as you or the same kind of movies, you will have problems. You and your partner need to enjoy each others company to the very last second. You need to like the same things as your partner so there is no quarrels or disagreements. Of course sometimes you might need to compramise but if your partner only likes Jazz, and you hate it, there will be problems, regardless of how strong the values you have with one another.

You may have have the same values as your partner, but if the approach isn’t the same or similar then there will be a few problems. You both may believe in success, but what success means for one individual, may not be the same for another. This is very deep stuff because connectivity and similarity in how you and your partner live your lives needs to combine together like half a heart with the other half of a heart. The heart doesn’t work effectively if one heart is purple, and the other is red. It doesn’t matter if they are the same size and diameter.

I have had amazing and less amazing friendships. What I have realised is that friendships last longer than relationships in a very generalised sense. The reason relationships work so well is because two parties realised that before they took the leap of faith, they made sure they wore their helmet and had the right size suit to execute a fantastic dive and smooth landing. If you don’t build a friendship based on foundations and similar interests, you will have a crash landing and it won’t be nice. Take as long as possible to prepare yourself for the jump or leap. It is seriously worth it. Yes, women will get bored. And yes, men will get bored if the person is taking so long, but if you wait long enough, someone who is right for you will wait with you and for you. They will stand by you when you fall, and fly with you when you rise.

Sometimes, you and another person may jump into a relationship not knowing much about the other person, only hoping for the best. What I can say from experience is don’t let all the glamour of being in a relationship get into your head. It is hard work, it if fun, but if you don’t prepare yourself or are ready, you will flop. Don’t only look at the positives, but examine the negatives and see whether you can cope with the person.

Ask yourself this harshly: DO THE POSITIVES OF THIS RELATIONSHIP OUTWEIGH THE NEGATIVES GREATLY?

You should never lower your standards to fit another person. You should never say another woman or man is a standard. Only standard yourself. You should never continue a relationship for the sake of it. You should never try to change a person, only accept. If you cannot accept the person, don’t be in that relationship.

It is majorly important that you ask simple questions towards your partner or friend. Questions like ‘Tell me about your morning.’ Simple questions are always the best questions because the way a man or woman answers it, can either attract you to them or make you less interested in them. An individual has the ability to approach their story of their morning, but the way this particular woman or man described it, attracted you to them. May seem trash talk, but believe me, it makes a hell of a difference.

Simplicity is key in any relationship. Being deep is important but if you are simple, there is no need to be deep because everything complex, was once simple.

I never used the word love in this post because love comes when your friendship is exactly what you want it to be. You will know when it hits you. I do not need to explain.

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  1. Thought-provoking post! I’ve had both—relationships that stemmed from long-term friendships and ones that started quickly and the friendship grew as the relationship did. Experience has taught me that one thing’s for sure: friendship is essential in any relationship. If the person isn’t your friend, it most likely will not last long. Thanks for another great post!

  2. […] Prolongue a Friendship Before Any Relationship (thelookoutdiary.wordpress.com) […]

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