TheLookoutDiary

Archive for February, 2012|Monthly archive page

DRUNK CHESS, NOTABLE SUCCESS

In Self Help on February 29, 2012 at 10:41 pm

The strange time in your life, when you lose hope and drive. It is a terrible feeling, especially when you are a teenager. You live your teenage life, with so much ease because your mum is providing for you, and all you have to do is bring home the acceptable grades. For me that is a C or above. The challenging part of me being in college, is the freedom to do what I want with a couple boundaries and rules. Sometimes I dread having rules and boundaries, because all I want to do, is do what I want, how I want to do it, and for as long as I can do it without interruption.

 

Saying that, I must admit that I am scared of working hard. I love shortcuts to success. I have this constant thought in my head, telling me, ‘you are working way too hard and you are stressing yourself for something that is simple.’ I am not sure if that is absolute crap or genuine. Is my instinct telling me something, or am I seriously deluded in my nature? At the end of the day, I have dreams to do great things in the world, so in order for me to be great, I need to work harder than everyone else to stand out and become the GENIUS I know I am. If I am unable to become the genius I capable of being, I will be tagged as average, just like everyone else. That is definitely not where I want to be.

When I was really young, I had hopes and dreams of getting into Oxford, Cambridge or Harvard. Slowly, when I realised that it would take constant hard work, I was put off. I thought a set number of people were gifted, and would be able to go to those great and prestigious institutions. Then later in my life, I realised, I have control over my future, which I emphasised in my last post. Hard work goes far, and fighting procrastination (which I suffer greatly) is the only way I can succeed. I will admit to myself, that since I got average GCSE grades, I don’t think I have the slightest chance of getting into Oxbridge or Harvard. I still believe in my personal dreams, like writing because, what keeps going is the fact that I know there are always other ways to achieving a goal than the traditional way. There is no one and only way to prestige and notable success.

I need to change my own perception completely, so I can see and reap the rewards that are not open to all. I will invest in my talents and do the things that will go beyond what is so traditional or expected from a typical black teenager, like myself. Or even a typical teenager living in 21st century London.

Marianne Williamson once said:

” Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear
is that we are powerful beyond measure.”

We are powerful beyond measure, but we never bother to actually measure our power because we fear disappointment.

THE REASONS I DREAM AND BELIEVE IN OPTIMISM

In Self Help on February 29, 2012 at 12:48 am

In the last couple weeks and months, I have been realising that I love to dream. The fact that I can sleep and think about all the things I want to happen, reflect on what has already happened, and sometimes regret what has happened already, has given me hope in this world. In fact, when I dream and reflect on my life, I inspire myself to realise that I live to do something great on this planet called EARTH. I am in a confusing stage in my life, where I am unsure what I want from life. I don’t exactly know what I want to become. The only things I do know is that I love to write, listen to music, procrastinate, and talk to people for hours on end about things that are pointless. I love to learn about the world, and inspire those that have yet been inspired. I love interacting with other people and getting to know their vibe, and sharing my vibes with them. There is no other way to put it.

I believe that when you set yourself goals in life, you are not only setting aims and objectives, but you are designing your life and shaping your own reality to fit what you see in the world. When I wake up and think to myself ‘Why do I have to go to college?,’ I am realising that I don’t like college but at the same time, I am desiging my future, according to what I feel at that second. Yes, I have dreams and ambitions, but sometimes, in order for me to focus on achieving my dreams and ambitions, I will need to do the things that I don’t particularly like, regardless of how much I hate a specific teacher, or subject matter in my Sociology or Business class. Desiging my world, is only up to me, and I have control of shaping my reality. That is where my optimism kicks in.

I am an optimistic teenage boy. I believe in positivity and feeling good always. I also believe in never focusing on the negatives and concentrating on the positive side of life. If I stay positive and have hope, I believe that whatever I do is destined for greatness.  People constantly tell me that I have too many high hopes and I need to get with reality and stop believing in things that may never happen. They pull me down, and I waste my time trying to justify my reasons to people that are not worth my time, day or voice. If I know I can achieve something, the only thing that is stopping me from achieving my goals is the negative criticism and my own personal belief that I hold to myself. If I control my own personal beliefs, disregard the negative criticism and demand positive criticism from like-minded people, I believe I would do better. Even better, if I control my own mind and interpretations, I believe that nothing will stop me. And forever I will work hard, and continue dreaming till the day comes when I can say I DID IT.