TheLookoutDiary

Posts Tagged ‘college’

WHAT DRIVES MY HARD WORK. AMBITION

In Self Help on October 1, 2012 at 1:26 am

Today, I did the longest ever study session of my life, and I still feel amazing and full of energy. I started studying at 3:00pm, after going to the gym from 11:00 to 12:30 and then coming home to eat brunch and then update my Tumblr. I finished studying minutes to midnight with frequent breaks and a power nap (20mins). The best thing ever happened to me in terms understanding what drives my hard work and determination, which I didn’t have before, but started applying recently when starting college. Last year I flopped pretty much all my exams because I counted the hours I worked everyday, applying quantity rather than quality. I thought to myself if I put in 3 hours today, I will be up to scratch and be able to relax a little bit. That type of thought or drive is completely wrong and should have never been my driving force for success. It sets your up for failure and puts you on the borderline, just like it did for me.

What has started to drive me in terms of hard work and application is my ability to empty my cup (full of preconceptions of self standard) and take every learning opportunity as a new experience. In addition, I constantly think about my ambitions, and dreams in life. I used to think that success is luck, and that you don’t have to work hard, hard to become successful, but hard enough. I then realised that hard work and success differentiates you from lazy people. If you want something that is amazing, exclusive and life changing, you’re going to have to shift your mind set from doing what is necessary to do what is overcapacity so you’re full with more knowledge than you need, so you can reach further and beyond. If everyone is able to have what you want, it must mean it is cheap and quick to obtain, but if what you want is something like a million dollar mansion, of course you will have to work hard to be the best, since million dollar mansions are not available to everyone. Obviously, because there are very few millionaires on this planet. So when I think about what I want in life, I realise that they aren’t available to everyone, so as a smart individual, I have to work harder than everyone else to be on top of my game and be the be the best at whatever I am doing. I cannot settle for less, or settle at the standard of the majority, because where the majority stand is an easy and comfortable position that has many people complaining for better.

A good technique of finding your motivation to work hard is to simply write down everything you want to achieve in life, and put them in a list of importance. Then write down what you need to achieve what you want, and then just simply apply yourself after. If you have no idea what you want to achieve in life, simply work hard in everything you do, explore and become adventurous.

DON’T CHASE GIRLS IF YOU WANT A GOOD LIFE

In Relationships, Self Help on September 6, 2012 at 6:42 pm

If you want a good or fruitful life, don’t chase girls. They will seriously slow you down.

Everyone wants the perfect relationship, or the relationship that lasts forever. We all want it, most of us are positively driven human beings.

I went to college for induction recently, and my first instinct was ‘wow, look at all these beautiful women.’ Now, I knew to myself, if I talk to these girls, friend zone and brother Derrick comes out. And clearly they will be a distraction. I need to focus and lay the foundations for my future.

This is and was my solution. Admire from a far. Work hard so I get the ideal life I aspire to get. Be myself and do everything in my power to make sure every action or word Derrick comes out with, is truly honest, and valuable.

Girls will slow you down, if you don’t understand why you are educating yourself in an educational institution. The girls that truly appreciate you and care for you will not bother you when you invest in your future by investing in something so powerful called knowledge. Girls that aren’t at your level will make reasons why you should be hanging out with them instead of getting the grades. They won’t out right say that, but their approach is deadly.

Why would you want to get into a relationship that doesn’t help you develop as a person, but belittles your potential. Who can you talk to that appreciates you and what you have to say, and wants to support you?

Little Story:

I was at break for 20 minutes at college. I was hanging out with my friends Geneva and Darren (most kindest and loveliest couple in school). I was talking to them about general things, summer break, and ambitions. I saw this lonely girl by herself, who was in my old class, before I moved to a new class in the same morning. My college sometimes have classes with over capacity at the start of the year. Well a part of me was thinking introduce myself, get to know new people. And a part of me was saying, no need, first day, CONCENTRATE! 

I was having two voices in my head. My friend Ali, who taught me everything I knew about women this year, would say ‘Derrick, grow some balls, and talk to her, you never know.’ My brother Etim would say ‘Why would you do it? What are you gaining from it. You go to college to learn so go with the flow of education and a woman will be in your path and direction of travel. May be next to you, may be in front or behind you, but definitely valuable when she and you find each other.’ So I ducked out and continued my day, and I can honestly say, I don’t feel regret. 

Balancing personal and social development is so key to achieving the best from life. Some people chase money, some chase love, some chase girls and some people simply chase.  So my advice to all the people reading is admire, invest, go with your individual flow and enjoy the wait for the right person.

If you want to be the top lawyer in the country, or the best music artist, or the next specialist doctor, why would you consume your valuable time trying to attract girls. I thought women like guys who are themselves. Giving mixed messages of your pretend and real character can damage how you interact with women and what they think of you. If you are pretentious and a girl gives into it, then she won’t like your honest character. And don’t be yourself  in front of a girl then change to a pretentious character to overly impress a girl. It just isn’t cool.

Let life take control!

Stressful Times Don’t Have To Be Stressful

In Self Help on April 24, 2012 at 11:49 pm

You are living, that is what truly matters.

The fact that you are livning and breathing is more important than anything else. You should never stress yourself out about work or your life. You should always live in the moment and live each day like it is your last. Never become negative about your life or where you are, even if your life is rather challenging or confusing. Always remember that, because you are living, you are okay and that definitely means, you can continue living and keep moving forward.

Your situation is temporary, not permanent.

Never feel your situation is permanent or never ending. You can control your life, and you make it what you want. You have the ability to do whatever you like, or whatever you desire to do or achieve. It is up to you to work for it, and depending on how much you want it, you will not sleep till you taste, feel, and breath success.

Stress can kill you. Believe me.

If you stress yourself out about your dissatisfaction of your life, or your inability to accomplish something, you will not succeed, move forward or sustain a healthy lifestyle.  When you stress out, you focus on one thing, and forget the other priorities in your life. You lose the most important things in your life, and that can leave you blind (figuratively speaking). If you feel constantly stressed, you can lose your ability to function as a human.

Not saying be lazy.

I am not saying casually  allow life to take control of you. Take control of your life and work very hard. Hope for the best, prepare for the worse. Don’t work stressfully hard, but strategically smart and you will forever be successful. The hard work will naturally come after that. Get what you need to get done finished, but if you cannot do it at the pace you think is acceptable, just accept that your body says no. By stopping, you are realising that your health is more important than your desired objective. Continue when you feel like you can give your objective, your full attention.

Have fun.

Whatever you do, try and stay positive. Try and find something interesting about what you are doing, however small the interest is, and use that as your driving force to get something done. If you are able to do that with everything, you will forever survive and conquer any challenge.

Chill out.

Always find time to chill out. Even if you are really busy in your life and what you are doing requires persistency and dedication, still relax. If you don’t, you will go into overdrive. And yes, that can have an effect on your health. Love yourself, so that simply means take care of your body.

LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST, BUT WORK STRATEGICALLY SMART, AND YOU WILL BE ABLE TO CONQUER ANYTHING.

DRUNK CHESS, NOTABLE SUCCESS

In Self Help on February 29, 2012 at 10:41 pm

The strange time in your life, when you lose hope and drive. It is a terrible feeling, especially when you are a teenager. You live your teenage life, with so much ease because your mum is providing for you, and all you have to do is bring home the acceptable grades. For me that is a C or above. The challenging part of me being in college, is the freedom to do what I want with a couple boundaries and rules. Sometimes I dread having rules and boundaries, because all I want to do, is do what I want, how I want to do it, and for as long as I can do it without interruption.

 

Saying that, I must admit that I am scared of working hard. I love shortcuts to success. I have this constant thought in my head, telling me, ‘you are working way too hard and you are stressing yourself for something that is simple.’ I am not sure if that is absolute crap or genuine. Is my instinct telling me something, or am I seriously deluded in my nature? At the end of the day, I have dreams to do great things in the world, so in order for me to be great, I need to work harder than everyone else to stand out and become the GENIUS I know I am. If I am unable to become the genius I capable of being, I will be tagged as average, just like everyone else. That is definitely not where I want to be.

When I was really young, I had hopes and dreams of getting into Oxford, Cambridge or Harvard. Slowly, when I realised that it would take constant hard work, I was put off. I thought a set number of people were gifted, and would be able to go to those great and prestigious institutions. Then later in my life, I realised, I have control over my future, which I emphasised in my last post. Hard work goes far, and fighting procrastination (which I suffer greatly) is the only way I can succeed. I will admit to myself, that since I got average GCSE grades, I don’t think I have the slightest chance of getting into Oxbridge or Harvard. I still believe in my personal dreams, like writing because, what keeps going is the fact that I know there are always other ways to achieving a goal than the traditional way. There is no one and only way to prestige and notable success.

I need to change my own perception completely, so I can see and reap the rewards that are not open to all. I will invest in my talents and do the things that will go beyond what is so traditional or expected from a typical black teenager, like myself. Or even a typical teenager living in 21st century London.

Marianne Williamson once said:

” Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear
is that we are powerful beyond measure.”

We are powerful beyond measure, but we never bother to actually measure our power because we fear disappointment.

THE REASONS I DREAM AND BELIEVE IN OPTIMISM

In Self Help on February 29, 2012 at 12:48 am

In the last couple weeks and months, I have been realising that I love to dream. The fact that I can sleep and think about all the things I want to happen, reflect on what has already happened, and sometimes regret what has happened already, has given me hope in this world. In fact, when I dream and reflect on my life, I inspire myself to realise that I live to do something great on this planet called EARTH. I am in a confusing stage in my life, where I am unsure what I want from life. I don’t exactly know what I want to become. The only things I do know is that I love to write, listen to music, procrastinate, and talk to people for hours on end about things that are pointless. I love to learn about the world, and inspire those that have yet been inspired. I love interacting with other people and getting to know their vibe, and sharing my vibes with them. There is no other way to put it.

I believe that when you set yourself goals in life, you are not only setting aims and objectives, but you are designing your life and shaping your own reality to fit what you see in the world. When I wake up and think to myself ‘Why do I have to go to college?,’ I am realising that I don’t like college but at the same time, I am desiging my future, according to what I feel at that second. Yes, I have dreams and ambitions, but sometimes, in order for me to focus on achieving my dreams and ambitions, I will need to do the things that I don’t particularly like, regardless of how much I hate a specific teacher, or subject matter in my Sociology or Business class. Desiging my world, is only up to me, and I have control of shaping my reality. That is where my optimism kicks in.

I am an optimistic teenage boy. I believe in positivity and feeling good always. I also believe in never focusing on the negatives and concentrating on the positive side of life. If I stay positive and have hope, I believe that whatever I do is destined for greatness.  People constantly tell me that I have too many high hopes and I need to get with reality and stop believing in things that may never happen. They pull me down, and I waste my time trying to justify my reasons to people that are not worth my time, day or voice. If I know I can achieve something, the only thing that is stopping me from achieving my goals is the negative criticism and my own personal belief that I hold to myself. If I control my own personal beliefs, disregard the negative criticism and demand positive criticism from like-minded people, I believe I would do better. Even better, if I control my own mind and interpretations, I believe that nothing will stop me. And forever I will work hard, and continue dreaming till the day comes when I can say I DID IT. 

Everyday Lunch Break

In Photography on January 21, 2012 at 2:15 am

My lunch period in college isn’t the usual. Me and Elliot have the constant risk of getting run over on the main road, even when the green man is showing.

I finally had the courage to make movements across the road, knowing that the old ladies were making the first movements.

I never really take the time to actually witness the architecture that exists minutes from my college. I have to pick up my camera from my room, stick it into my bag and walk down the road to find time to stop and capture something wonderful.

The previous day, I wasn’t feeling so well so instead of buying McDonalds, or a lovely bagel, I went to Millies Cookies. By the time I ate two, I was like ‘that is seriously enough!’ I had to get back to college for my 2 hour Philosophy lesson.

I don’t like chocolate. Since the day I was born, me and chocolate haven’t gotten along really well. I absolutely hate the taste of it. I do like white chocolate though.

Costa has to wait because it is cold, and I only had half an hour for lunch, so I had to skip this destination.

Even though I had class soon, I had to fit in a few shots of my friend. The strange moment when your friend likes his picture taken and you comply because that is what friends do. They look out for each other.

Well, that is my lunch break. Everyday ends up being different because what we choose to eat seems to change quite a lot. When we make a decision well before the point of lunch break, we end up doing the complete opposite. Typical teenagers growing up. What do you expect?

What I Learned About Structure

In Self Help on December 19, 2011 at 9:55 pm

I recently made a timetable for my college year and realised that structure, and a set and strict timetable are really important when it comes to success in life. You cannot be successful unless you have a structure in place which you follow towards your success. Structure is important because you are planning your actions. Planning, prepares you for success and reduces your chances of failure. That is why there is the saying ‘to fail to prepare, is preparing to fail.’ That immediately means structure and planning makes you more successful than the other individual that doesn’t prepare or structure correctly.

I took structure and planning for granted through out my whole life till I realised that my grades in school weren’t adding up. My English grade was below my expected. If you looked at my writing, you would assume the curriculum got my papers wrong with someone else’s. I am good at English and have potential, but my structure for work is wrong, not my knowledge or understanding of the concepts. I need to plan my work and plan it well so that my success is satisfying my interpretation of what success means to me. (If you are wondering, the letter A is what I call success). I did well in some subjects and did not so good in others this term in school. My structure for learning is a total fail, period. My latest post on TheLookoutDiary, ‘Am I The Only One That Hates Multitasking In School?’ is about not wanting to multi-task but what I have learned, is that multi-tasking only works when your structure is well thought out, and implemented according to your plan.

My mother and grandfather pushed and pushed and pushed me until I made a structured timetable for my life. Since I started going by my timetable, I have practically forgotten about prioritising school subjects and giving each subject, the same amount of time and attention. I NOW FEEL MY BEST.

Do you ever wonder why you can do different subjects in school one after the other, and not feel like you are missing out on one subject compared to the other? The reason you feel so at ease when you are at school, is because a structure has been put in place to help you go through school with ease. That is what you have to do for yourself, when you are at home. If you are ever faced with so many things to do in your life, make a plan, make a structure that works for you, and stick by it and if you do, you will be successful. It doesn’t have to be work or at work by the way. It could just  be your life as a whole.

IT’S NOT ABOUT LOOKING, IT’S ABOUT LIVING

In Relationships, Self Help on November 1, 2011 at 1:04 am

A lot of people my age (16) are getting into relationships in college with people that they just met. After a month or less, they have broken up and back to being friends. A lot of them continue living their life like they didn’t just have a relationship and some actually felt like they had something special and worth keeping. I think being 16, people are still too young to understand the complexity of a relationship. We should be teenagers and enjoy the friendships we have with people, than get into relationships that don’t last very long due to the lack of chemistry. I personally believe, when we are young, we are learning how to treat people in a friendship and how to make a friendship flourish. I believe once we understand how to keep a friendship flourishing, then a committed relationship is the next step.

Being in a relationship is about being at ease with another individual. We should feel comfortable being around them and laugh with them naturally, instead of forcing it to please one another. I personally, haven’t been in a relationship but I have had really good friendships with people. Some friendships become so close, that you give your female friend the the sister role instead of a potential future girlfriend.  You can learn so much from a sister about relationships than anywhere else, mainly because your ‘sister’ is a female herself. If you don’t have a friend like that, you should interact with more females and find one. You could just talk to a bunch of random females you meet on the street, if you have the confidence to ask them for an outside opinion. They will most likely answer your friendly question if you come across as genuinely curious instead of a freak that has been stalking them since they left Starbucks, and crossed the street opposite McDonald’s.

I would also advise any teenage guy who isn’t in a relationship to concentrate on what they are passionate about because if you do, females would admire that, because it shows that women are not on your mind 24/7. I realised this myself, and was told the exact same thing by some of my beautiful female friends from college. I do hang out with women but I do take the time to work on my passion which is writing. I am not pursuing women, but most importantly pursuing my passion for writing. I want to inspire many by my words, and what that means is not looking for women because I know, and you should definitely know, that women will always be there.

I asked a few of my friends for their personal opinion on what is needed for long and lasting relationship. Here are some of their thoughts.

Daniel Cayford:  

”Knowing about what they actually want from life, and seeing how the two of you, together, are stronger than when you were single.”

Christian Hayward: 

”Knowing each other in a extended bit of time and not having sex on the first date.”

Makeda D. O-Cole: 

” You shouldn’t enter something, you know with all your heart, isn’t going to go somewhere and doesn’t have a future.”

A relationship is supposed to last; it isn’t supposed about showing off to your friends that you have girlfriend or boyfriend. It is about liking someone who you really connect with. It is also about sharing the same values and common interests with another individual that makes you happy. Love the people you socially connect with, and develop a lasting and meaningful friendship with your friends. The rest will come in time.

What do you think? Do you agree with what I think? What is your verdict on a lasting relationship or even developing a lasting friendship?

I DON’T CARE

In Self Expression, Self Help on October 17, 2011 at 7:06 pm

People always try to fit into society by doing everything that is normal. They never do something that they truly want to do, but have to do to be accepted by their fellow peers. People who constantly try to fit in, never feel comfortable. My friend Pablo (picture) came to college in a scooter and in my opinion, had immense amounts of swagger, I couldn’t put into words.

When do we just do what we feel and never think about what people think. The people that are different, couldn’t care less how people perceive them. It is then that they get praise for being so cool, all because they are unique in their style. Yes, it is style! The things everyone does is just boring but when you break away from the norms of society, we start to become creative and experimental and then great things are created.

Now, I am going to upgrade my skateboard and roll into school doing an ollie. No one should copy me but respect my style and get their own!

MUMS SANDWICH OR KEBAB

In Uncategorized on October 12, 2011 at 9:34 pm

MATURE CONTENT!

Finishing school gives you the opportunity to really catch a bite to eat. So, walking in Hammersmith, you are faced with fast food shops in every direction. You have Tops Pizza for the people that enjoy fat, fat, fat. You have Starbucks for people that like to be high. You have a kebab shop for people who like chicken, or lamb and want to add a few calories to their diet. And lastly McDonalds for the people who don’t give a shit about their diet!

When choosing what you eat, you have a massive problem. Eat your mums lovely, sweated out and sexy prepared sandwich (which you didn’t buy the bread, ham, turkey or chicken because you don’t have a job) or the sassy, succulent kebab from the confined, cultured Lebanese kebab shop. I gave into the Lebanese culture kebab. Call me a traitor, I don’t give a shit. You always need to have a variety of foods in your life regardless of the 50p extra charge (Conservatives corruption). If you remember the times in high school when all you could eat was packed lunch, you would definitely want to walk out of college and into a fat infested fast food shop.

Don’t forget to pick up WATER! (like you would, you love the look of that coke)