TheLookoutDiary

Posts Tagged ‘Courage’

UPDATE ON THELOOKOUTDIARY

In Uncategorized on January 8, 2013 at 8:15 pm

To all my followers,

I am truly sorry I have quit blogging….I am kidding. Writing is my life. I will never stop writing.

I have a new website. It will be updated as often as a writer can keep writing. The focus is still the same. I will spread truth, honesty, love and compassion towards all my readers through my perception of life and the significant experiences that occur in my life. I swear to never write words with no reason or be pretentious but only pure and honest with every syllable, adjective, noun and pronoun that is published on my page.

If you want to follow me on my quest for greatness, meaning and growth, keep following. Bookmark my new website, and I’ll see you on the other side.

www.thelookoutdiary.com

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WHY CHANGE FOR ANOTHER HUMAN BEING?

In Relationships, Self Help on September 13, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Why change? Why fit her character? Why misrepresent and relinquish the power of your own name to fit her standard?

Those are the question I ask myself everyday. Life is too precious to suck into another human beings character. Life is too precious to change your character to fit another persons character. Life is too powerful to be a fool who adopts a false character that clearly misrepresents his or her past and present.

I once in my life wanted to be a popular kid is school. I wanted to be the guy who everyone wants to go to for advice. I wanted to be the most confident guy. I wanted to be the guy who speaks and everyone listens to with attentive ears. I then realised and asked myself these question: Do I actually need that to look confident and powerful? Do I want it so I can be put on a pedestal? Or do I want it to be acknowledged by those I belittle or tag as inferior to me?

The beauty of life is ones ability to separate and be unique from the other individuals that surround him or her. Not unique because he or she wants to not do what others are doing. The reason an individual becomes a unique individual is because he or she does something for the benefit of themselves, not for the pleasure of others.

My college life is like this. I go to classes. I speak to girls I like. I hang out with people I admire because I relate to their values and beliefs in life, success, ambition and positivity. While that is happening, I am constantly battling this one demon. This one demon that seems to lurk up on a typical teenage boy going through a early social stage in his life. A strange demon that entices you towards the opposite sex that you love and hate at the same time. I can’t describe the demon, but it brings you to the ever so mysterious female.

Females have this thing that attracts men to them. Is it the rush of hormones that gets men excited when the opposite sex is in their vision. This uncontrollable force within that takes control over your body, actions, thoughts and feelings. The question is how do you control it?

The massive struggle in life for me, is understanding that my character is precious. The character I present to the world is precious. My personal character, that I present to every single individual, male or female has to be respectful and the same, regardless of the type of individual I am talking to. The struggle most guys like me go through at 17 years old, is understanding that some women will just not like your character. You cannot pretend to make a girl like you. You cannot put on a fake personality, because a girl can suck it out of you. You just have to be yourself, regardless of how beautiful or how interesting a girl may be.

I would be walking through college, and yes, there are a couple girls I notice all the time, purely because of attraction. A part of me says ‘Derrick, just be SWAG.’ A part of me says ‘Derrick, be yourself, not everyone will like you. Just be honest.’ I realise out of common sense, that logically, my own character that is truthful is the best character to present to girls. So of course that character should be exploited beautifully. But a part of me and in a lot of human beings is this solution, let’s change our character slightly to appeal to the opposite sex. And of course, if you change your character, it is just WRONG. A girl who notices the fake character you first presented her with, compared to your real character you later presented, is more damaging than a girl who can’t accept your true character. Why lie and reject your powerful character? Everyone has a personality, so of course people will have different opinions and judgments about you and how you look, how you speak, how you carry yourself.

If you are able to be yourself always, and be honest about your feelings, you will notice the real people that truly appreciate your character. I am done trying to play the game of how to get a girl and taking advice from friends that have their own method. I am done trying to guess a girls personality so I can adapt to hers in the most unnatural way. I am about being me, and making friends with those that are naturally real in themselves, and being.

DRUNK CHESS, NOTABLE SUCCESS

In Self Help on February 29, 2012 at 10:41 pm

The strange time in your life, when you lose hope and drive. It is a terrible feeling, especially when you are a teenager. You live your teenage life, with so much ease because your mum is providing for you, and all you have to do is bring home the acceptable grades. For me that is a C or above. The challenging part of me being in college, is the freedom to do what I want with a couple boundaries and rules. Sometimes I dread having rules and boundaries, because all I want to do, is do what I want, how I want to do it, and for as long as I can do it without interruption.

 

Saying that, I must admit that I am scared of working hard. I love shortcuts to success. I have this constant thought in my head, telling me, ‘you are working way too hard and you are stressing yourself for something that is simple.’ I am not sure if that is absolute crap or genuine. Is my instinct telling me something, or am I seriously deluded in my nature? At the end of the day, I have dreams to do great things in the world, so in order for me to be great, I need to work harder than everyone else to stand out and become the GENIUS I know I am. If I am unable to become the genius I capable of being, I will be tagged as average, just like everyone else. That is definitely not where I want to be.

When I was really young, I had hopes and dreams of getting into Oxford, Cambridge or Harvard. Slowly, when I realised that it would take constant hard work, I was put off. I thought a set number of people were gifted, and would be able to go to those great and prestigious institutions. Then later in my life, I realised, I have control over my future, which I emphasised in my last post. Hard work goes far, and fighting procrastination (which I suffer greatly) is the only way I can succeed. I will admit to myself, that since I got average GCSE grades, I don’t think I have the slightest chance of getting into Oxbridge or Harvard. I still believe in my personal dreams, like writing because, what keeps going is the fact that I know there are always other ways to achieving a goal than the traditional way. There is no one and only way to prestige and notable success.

I need to change my own perception completely, so I can see and reap the rewards that are not open to all. I will invest in my talents and do the things that will go beyond what is so traditional or expected from a typical black teenager, like myself. Or even a typical teenager living in 21st century London.

Marianne Williamson once said:

” Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear
is that we are powerful beyond measure.”

We are powerful beyond measure, but we never bother to actually measure our power because we fear disappointment.

THE REASONS I DREAM AND BELIEVE IN OPTIMISM

In Self Help on February 29, 2012 at 12:48 am

In the last couple weeks and months, I have been realising that I love to dream. The fact that I can sleep and think about all the things I want to happen, reflect on what has already happened, and sometimes regret what has happened already, has given me hope in this world. In fact, when I dream and reflect on my life, I inspire myself to realise that I live to do something great on this planet called EARTH. I am in a confusing stage in my life, where I am unsure what I want from life. I don’t exactly know what I want to become. The only things I do know is that I love to write, listen to music, procrastinate, and talk to people for hours on end about things that are pointless. I love to learn about the world, and inspire those that have yet been inspired. I love interacting with other people and getting to know their vibe, and sharing my vibes with them. There is no other way to put it.

I believe that when you set yourself goals in life, you are not only setting aims and objectives, but you are designing your life and shaping your own reality to fit what you see in the world. When I wake up and think to myself ‘Why do I have to go to college?,’ I am realising that I don’t like college but at the same time, I am desiging my future, according to what I feel at that second. Yes, I have dreams and ambitions, but sometimes, in order for me to focus on achieving my dreams and ambitions, I will need to do the things that I don’t particularly like, regardless of how much I hate a specific teacher, or subject matter in my Sociology or Business class. Desiging my world, is only up to me, and I have control of shaping my reality. That is where my optimism kicks in.

I am an optimistic teenage boy. I believe in positivity and feeling good always. I also believe in never focusing on the negatives and concentrating on the positive side of life. If I stay positive and have hope, I believe that whatever I do is destined for greatness.  People constantly tell me that I have too many high hopes and I need to get with reality and stop believing in things that may never happen. They pull me down, and I waste my time trying to justify my reasons to people that are not worth my time, day or voice. If I know I can achieve something, the only thing that is stopping me from achieving my goals is the negative criticism and my own personal belief that I hold to myself. If I control my own personal beliefs, disregard the negative criticism and demand positive criticism from like-minded people, I believe I would do better. Even better, if I control my own mind and interpretations, I believe that nothing will stop me. And forever I will work hard, and continue dreaming till the day comes when I can say I DID IT.