TheLookoutDiary

Posts Tagged ‘Happiness’

CHANGE

In Self Help on October 4, 2012 at 4:00 pm

You know when life says to you ‘You need to change. You need to shift from what you are doing now, to something new.’ I experienced that recently. I was had a job, and I had my fair share of challenges. The challenges kept coming, and I kept trying to solve them. I notice that a lot of the challenges I was trying to solve were out of my control. I further challenged myself to solve what was unsolvable, only because I had a lack of resources that could eradicate the problem and make me happy.

I then realised something. When you try to solve something that is so rigid, you create more problems if the problem is so against you? Why not just shift and change your lifestyle and look for better? I kept thinking that to myself for the last few weeks and realised that I need to just take the leap of faith and just do what makes me happy. I say money doesn’t bring happiness, which is absolutely true in my opinion. I also believe that just trying something new in the hope for a amazing outcome, is a massive risk, but I am willing to do it, if the reward is greatness.

The value of life lies not in the length of days, but in the use we make of them… Whether you find satisfaction in life depends not on your tale of years, but on your will. – Michel de Montaigne

So, I shifted my thought process from indulging in problems with overly complex solutions, to finding a new angle and strategy that can allow me to flourish in my talents. I hope to grow in my new venture as an individual that is on this planet to experience what life has to offer. And I am openly willing to learn, expand my knowledge, and grow into a strong man. A man that doesn’t have the muscle (wouldn’t mind) but has clarity in his reasoning, understanding and application of knowledge into the real world.

 

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FEELING SATISFIED

In Relationships, Self Help on September 23, 2012 at 12:29 pm

In the last couple weeks I have been questioning my identity, purpose and values. I have fundamental values that are rooted in moral principles. I do things that are good, instead of doing things that are seen to be right. The challenge I am facing right now is the question of how and when do you feel ultimate satisfaction in your life? I am questioning if money brings satisfaction, or does love bring satisfaction, or does focusing on your purpose bring satisfaction and how do you manage it and get the ball rolling for a beautiful and satisfying life.

I can’t lie and say that growing up to the age of 17, I haven’t thought that happiness and satisfaction comes from the salary threshold. The salary threshold, being a certain amount of income that brings an abundance of living. Being 17 now, I think it is actually bogus. A household income can never satisfy a human being. It doesn’t matter how much money you make. The truth is, when you make a certain amount of money, all you will feel is the need to make even more money because it opens up more opportunity, that can satisfy your rush for material ownership. Of course, I constantly tell myself, ‘I wish I had one million pounds right now, so I could travel from London to Miami, Miami to New York, and New York to Milan. Yes, I want the opportunity to do it, but how am I as an individual supposed to feel satisfied with the trip if I don’t feel satisfied with the person I am right now? I think of materials and holidays as a bonus to the satisfaction one feels within himself.

Another problem with satisfaction is this thing called LOVE. We all look for our soul mate. Our perfect partner. The person that completes up entirely. Then I think to myself, everyone wants a perfect relationship with a brilliant lifestyle. The struggle we have right now, is feeling satisfied and loving ourselves. Yes we are suppose to put people first but how are we suppose to do that, if we are incomplete in ourselves? You can’t enter a relationship with the hope that another person will solve your problems and makes you happy. You enter a relationship because through growth, you and your partner can learn from each other and have an abundance of satisfication. If you read my post on perfect relationships, then you would understand the clarity of knowing what you want and acceptance. I have expectations for a relationship, but before I get any female that I desire, I have to act in the way I described my perfect female, because how I present myself is what I will attract. Pauline, a fellow blogger, clearly states that in her post about attraction.

Satisfaction for me comes from my belief in God. I believe that he guides me to everything that needs to be present in my life. He helps me to understand my purpose. He helps me to solve situations that are problematic. He just gives me an answer to all my problems in the most clear way ever. As long I feel satisfied in my belief in God, I believe I will always be satisfied within myself, and no one can ever top that feeling. PERIOD!

WHY CHANGE FOR ANOTHER HUMAN BEING?

In Relationships, Self Help on September 13, 2012 at 5:25 pm

Why change? Why fit her character? Why misrepresent and relinquish the power of your own name to fit her standard?

Those are the question I ask myself everyday. Life is too precious to suck into another human beings character. Life is too precious to change your character to fit another persons character. Life is too powerful to be a fool who adopts a false character that clearly misrepresents his or her past and present.

I once in my life wanted to be a popular kid is school. I wanted to be the guy who everyone wants to go to for advice. I wanted to be the most confident guy. I wanted to be the guy who speaks and everyone listens to with attentive ears. I then realised and asked myself these question: Do I actually need that to look confident and powerful? Do I want it so I can be put on a pedestal? Or do I want it to be acknowledged by those I belittle or tag as inferior to me?

The beauty of life is ones ability to separate and be unique from the other individuals that surround him or her. Not unique because he or she wants to not do what others are doing. The reason an individual becomes a unique individual is because he or she does something for the benefit of themselves, not for the pleasure of others.

My college life is like this. I go to classes. I speak to girls I like. I hang out with people I admire because I relate to their values and beliefs in life, success, ambition and positivity. While that is happening, I am constantly battling this one demon. This one demon that seems to lurk up on a typical teenage boy going through a early social stage in his life. A strange demon that entices you towards the opposite sex that you love and hate at the same time. I can’t describe the demon, but it brings you to the ever so mysterious female.

Females have this thing that attracts men to them. Is it the rush of hormones that gets men excited when the opposite sex is in their vision. This uncontrollable force within that takes control over your body, actions, thoughts and feelings. The question is how do you control it?

The massive struggle in life for me, is understanding that my character is precious. The character I present to the world is precious. My personal character, that I present to every single individual, male or female has to be respectful and the same, regardless of the type of individual I am talking to. The struggle most guys like me go through at 17 years old, is understanding that some women will just not like your character. You cannot pretend to make a girl like you. You cannot put on a fake personality, because a girl can suck it out of you. You just have to be yourself, regardless of how beautiful or how interesting a girl may be.

I would be walking through college, and yes, there are a couple girls I notice all the time, purely because of attraction. A part of me says ‘Derrick, just be SWAG.’ A part of me says ‘Derrick, be yourself, not everyone will like you. Just be honest.’ I realise out of common sense, that logically, my own character that is truthful is the best character to present to girls. So of course that character should be exploited beautifully. But a part of me and in a lot of human beings is this solution, let’s change our character slightly to appeal to the opposite sex. And of course, if you change your character, it is just WRONG. A girl who notices the fake character you first presented her with, compared to your real character you later presented, is more damaging than a girl who can’t accept your true character. Why lie and reject your powerful character? Everyone has a personality, so of course people will have different opinions and judgments about you and how you look, how you speak, how you carry yourself.

If you are able to be yourself always, and be honest about your feelings, you will notice the real people that truly appreciate your character. I am done trying to play the game of how to get a girl and taking advice from friends that have their own method. I am done trying to guess a girls personality so I can adapt to hers in the most unnatural way. I am about being me, and making friends with those that are naturally real in themselves, and being.

TAKES SOMETHING SMALL TO MAKE ME SMILE

In Self Help on August 25, 2012 at 12:27 am

I just wanted to write a small post about how bad situations can instantly become good situations with the little nice comment, conversation or message someone can send to you, after a pretty negative day. We all have bad days. The days we want to swear recklessly. The days we want to give up and quit.

One thing we don’t realise is that if we are really postive, anything can brighten up our day. If we are positively driven by making a difference to our lives, then we can easily change our performance. Like I said in my last post, I had a bad day. What happened next was this beautiful stranger friend from Spain was like  ‘hi,’ on Facebook, and of course I was in no mood to stay negative or become majorly happy. Strangely the positive vibe she had, made a difference to our conversation. The fact we don’t dwell on the past, but move forward to happy outcomes.

So all I wanted to say in this post is never dwell on the negatives in life, and just be happy living and always live to be great within yoursellf. And ALWAYS, ALWAYS try to end your day with a smile. Makes a huge difference.

LIFE = SOLVING PROBLEMS

In Self Help on April 15, 2012 at 8:01 pm

Isn’t life about solving problems. I always question my existence and wonder why I am living and breathing. Why do I have to suffer with years and years of education. Why do I have to go to the shop for my mum, nearly every day? Why do I not like certain people? What is my talent? I keep on questioning why I am living and why I do certain things in life, all the time. Then life hits me hard, and I realised why I live. I realised why humans live, and I also realise why humans communicate with each other and why we begin to truly love the people we are close or attached to.

Life is all about SOLVING PROBLEMS.

That is why we live, suffer, face challenges, and feel satisfied at certain times in our life. If life wasn’t about challenges, feeling satisfied and solving problems, our lives would be be pretty pointless and boring. In my previous post, I talked about music and it’s affect on our behaviour. Well music plays and important role of storytelling and spreading ideas and beliefs. That also shows us that people want to express themselves through something they are passionate about. It may be done to make money (satisfaction), may be done to change something (challenge), or may be done as a way of truly expressing ones understanding of world (problem).

Whatever life throws at us, we should take it, analyse it and respond to it appropriately. We should enjoy what we experience, develop on our ideas and creativity, learn from our mistakes and solve the problems that we face in our daily lives.

That is truly living.