TheLookoutDiary

Posts Tagged ‘self help’

POETRY IS THE THERAPY I MADE LOVE TO

In Poetry, Self Help on November 23, 2012 at 4:32 pm

If you haven’t noticed, I have been writing more poetry posts than anything else on my blog. I usually post something related to a learning experience. A learning experience I would like to share with people with the hope of inspiring positive change, but I have been addicted to writing poetry recently. Poetry has become my guide, my love and my solution to problems I just can’t figure out by thinking in ‘normal’ ways. Normal isn’t even the word to describe it. I just feel poetry gives me a very clear picture and hope.

I feel poetry allows me to become very creative in my expression and make me happy when I feel down. I feel shy talking about embarrassing moments in my life and I feel lost in talking in complexity so my devout lover is my poetry. I can write a poem in 20 mins and then feel a change in my life in a couple hours after release.

I don’t write poetry to make money or to become famous. I don’t care if people like it or not. I care most about me expressing myself to myself, and uplifting myself for good. If I can have a pen, and a piece of paper or my Blackberry, I am forever lost in my lyrics and nothing can interrupt that secret, colourful zone that erupts with words that buzz, tingle, and transform me and others that read my work.

I have a national poetry slam final coming up in London, and I guess I need to prepare for it. And I guess poetry is the therapist I made love to…..

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PEOPLE’S STUPIDITY WILL FAIL YOU

In Relationships, Self Help, Travel on November 11, 2012 at 4:17 pm

Every time you take someones criticism personally, you will fail.

Every time you accomplish someone else’s dream, you will fail.

Every time you indulge in someone else’s stupidity, you shall fail.

Every time you think of changing your dream, you will automatically lose your chance to be happy and therefore you will fail.

Every time you over think about your chances of your dream becoming true, you actually don’t really want it and as a consequence, you will fail.

Every time you ever doubt yourself, you will fuck up and fail.

I hate when people tell me they can’t accomplish something because of the chances. I hate that excuse above everything. To be honest, I don’t care about anyone’s criticism. A persons criticism is an insecurity within themselves.  Just live how you wish to be by working hard from now.

I have three dreams in life so far, only being 17 right now.

  • Travel Writer: Someone who travels the world and writes books, magazines, and online articles on the topic of culture, relationships and how the motive of sharing and receiving love makes us interconnected in the most beautiful way.
  • Take care of my family
  • Have a beautiful wife, who has and lives the same dream as me through our love and commitment.

If I accomplish those, I am seriously a happy person.

Why can’t you be happy doing what you want in your life?

NEVER EVER STOP DREAMING. NEVER ASSOCIATE YOURSELF WITH STUPIDITY. FIND LIKE MINDED PEOPLE. DON’T STOP WORKING TILL YOUR WORK IS DONE.  BE EXTREMELY HAPPY AND JUST LIVE YOUR DREAM!!

WHAT DRIVES MY HARD WORK. AMBITION

In Self Help on October 1, 2012 at 1:26 am

Today, I did the longest ever study session of my life, and I still feel amazing and full of energy. I started studying at 3:00pm, after going to the gym from 11:00 to 12:30 and then coming home to eat brunch and then update my Tumblr. I finished studying minutes to midnight with frequent breaks and a power nap (20mins). The best thing ever happened to me in terms understanding what drives my hard work and determination, which I didn’t have before, but started applying recently when starting college. Last year I flopped pretty much all my exams because I counted the hours I worked everyday, applying quantity rather than quality. I thought to myself if I put in 3 hours today, I will be up to scratch and be able to relax a little bit. That type of thought or drive is completely wrong and should have never been my driving force for success. It sets your up for failure and puts you on the borderline, just like it did for me.

What has started to drive me in terms of hard work and application is my ability to empty my cup (full of preconceptions of self standard) and take every learning opportunity as a new experience. In addition, I constantly think about my ambitions, and dreams in life. I used to think that success is luck, and that you don’t have to work hard, hard to become successful, but hard enough. I then realised that hard work and success differentiates you from lazy people. If you want something that is amazing, exclusive and life changing, you’re going to have to shift your mind set from doing what is necessary to do what is overcapacity so you’re full with more knowledge than you need, so you can reach further and beyond. If everyone is able to have what you want, it must mean it is cheap and quick to obtain, but if what you want is something like a million dollar mansion, of course you will have to work hard to be the best, since million dollar mansions are not available to everyone. Obviously, because there are very few millionaires on this planet. So when I think about what I want in life, I realise that they aren’t available to everyone, so as a smart individual, I have to work harder than everyone else to be on top of my game and be the be the best at whatever I am doing. I cannot settle for less, or settle at the standard of the majority, because where the majority stand is an easy and comfortable position that has many people complaining for better.

A good technique of finding your motivation to work hard is to simply write down everything you want to achieve in life, and put them in a list of importance. Then write down what you need to achieve what you want, and then just simply apply yourself after. If you have no idea what you want to achieve in life, simply work hard in everything you do, explore and become adventurous.

FEELING SATISFIED

In Relationships, Self Help on September 23, 2012 at 12:29 pm

In the last couple weeks I have been questioning my identity, purpose and values. I have fundamental values that are rooted in moral principles. I do things that are good, instead of doing things that are seen to be right. The challenge I am facing right now is the question of how and when do you feel ultimate satisfaction in your life? I am questioning if money brings satisfaction, or does love bring satisfaction, or does focusing on your purpose bring satisfaction and how do you manage it and get the ball rolling for a beautiful and satisfying life.

I can’t lie and say that growing up to the age of 17, I haven’t thought that happiness and satisfaction comes from the salary threshold. The salary threshold, being a certain amount of income that brings an abundance of living. Being 17 now, I think it is actually bogus. A household income can never satisfy a human being. It doesn’t matter how much money you make. The truth is, when you make a certain amount of money, all you will feel is the need to make even more money because it opens up more opportunity, that can satisfy your rush for material ownership. Of course, I constantly tell myself, ‘I wish I had one million pounds right now, so I could travel from London to Miami, Miami to New York, and New York to Milan. Yes, I want the opportunity to do it, but how am I as an individual supposed to feel satisfied with the trip if I don’t feel satisfied with the person I am right now? I think of materials and holidays as a bonus to the satisfaction one feels within himself.

Another problem with satisfaction is this thing called LOVE. We all look for our soul mate. Our perfect partner. The person that completes up entirely. Then I think to myself, everyone wants a perfect relationship with a brilliant lifestyle. The struggle we have right now, is feeling satisfied and loving ourselves. Yes we are suppose to put people first but how are we suppose to do that, if we are incomplete in ourselves? You can’t enter a relationship with the hope that another person will solve your problems and makes you happy. You enter a relationship because through growth, you and your partner can learn from each other and have an abundance of satisfication. If you read my post on perfect relationships, then you would understand the clarity of knowing what you want and acceptance. I have expectations for a relationship, but before I get any female that I desire, I have to act in the way I described my perfect female, because how I present myself is what I will attract. Pauline, a fellow blogger, clearly states that in her post about attraction.

Satisfaction for me comes from my belief in God. I believe that he guides me to everything that needs to be present in my life. He helps me to understand my purpose. He helps me to solve situations that are problematic. He just gives me an answer to all my problems in the most clear way ever. As long I feel satisfied in my belief in God, I believe I will always be satisfied within myself, and no one can ever top that feeling. PERIOD!

RELIGION ISN’T THE PROBLEM, PEOPLE ARE!

In Self Help on July 14, 2012 at 6:25 pm

It’s not religion. It is people. That’s the problem

People always complain religion is the reason problems exist in the world. The truth is, religion isn’t the problem. It is the individuals beliefs that conflict with religion. So many people are trying to put their own beliefs into religion, rather than religion putting beliefs in them. People want control and power, and people want religion to magically tell them that they should have control and power.

Religion is about seeking the meaning of life and fulfilment. It is not learning about how to dominate other individuals and how to control them. The conflicts we have in the world is a result of people putting their own beliefs in religion. Twisting the fundamental teachings of religion and putting their own power and signiture to something that should be untouched. Just listen to religious teachings, examine it and use it for the better of yourself, not for others. When you try to change people’s beliefs, you are trying to change the individual to fit your own belief. Let them believe what they want to, and let them fail as they will learn for themselves. The individual shouldn’t be chained and whipped to believe, but should have the freedom to choose if they want to believe or not.

I am a Christian, and believe every religion has greatness and powerful teachings that should be spread to others. I believe you only teach those that are willing to be open and willing to change. Don’t change those that are ignorant. Don’t blame social problems on the religion but on the character of the individual that uses religion in the negative way.

Any individual that says religion is the problem, is an individual that hasn’t got core beliefs in themselves or the power to control their own mind. The world is driven by the spread of beliefs and values that people share and strangely share common values with. Any powerful person can make you believe a religion is detrimental to a populations movement forward to positivity and persperity. But a fool is the person who simply believes the powerful person is so powerful, since the individual is a human just like you and me. We all have the same power, it doesn’t matter if you are President of the United States or a village man. It just takes a bullet to pierce through your lungs and kill you.

What you should understand from this post is, have belief in yourself. It doesn’t have to be religious, it could be spiritual. Have belief in who you are. Don’t be easily lead. Have faith in your growth as a smart, understanding, reasonable person. And most of all, be open. Don’t ever base your judgment purely on what you experience. Look out for perspective, then make a standpoint. Only make a standpoint if you are willing to learn from others. We live to learn so never stop learning. EVER!

HOW I STAY PATIENT

In Self Help on July 10, 2012 at 3:46 pm

You know I am not patient. Give me a break, and hurry up!

Patience is one of those skills that a lot of people suffer from. They just can’t seem to get their head around the concept of patience. How to be patient. How to maximise patience. How to feel patient and not feel lonely. What does patience even teach you in the first place??

Those are the sort of statements people wonder about after realising they aren’t patient and haven’t got anything to do apart from being patient. Patience is depressing and frustrating for people my age (17), and that really exists in college and normal everyday life. I could be in class and everyone is counting down the minutes to the end of the lesson. I do too. It is really long, and people lose focus on the task at hand, and end up learning nothing. We become blind to how important our lives are and that we should invest every second of our lives becoming better people and not wishing for the end to come. Speaking from experience, I am a person that used to be the most impatient person ever. I am really organised and plan well, but I lacked the ability to sit and wait for people or things.

Patience could either be your best friend or your worse enemy in your life. I love patience (amazingly). The point when I can wait for something to come instead of having it straight away. The point of wondering what will come and the outcome of what I am being patient for. In addition, I have become more content with myself since I am a patient individual. I feel good 9.5/10 times in the day and that is all because I am allowing life to happen when it wants to and that seems to factor positively in my own development.  If patience is your best friend, it can guide you to a fruitful and positive life that can only make you grow into a better person. A patient person is able to learn what is there and what is work taking advantage of in the seconds he or she has. If patience is your worse enemy then expect conflict with the world. It will hurt you, because you want to jump five steps on an imbalanced pavement instead of taking and acknowledging every step beautifully as it comes.

Like I said earlier in the post, I used to be impatient, but I have changed. As a teenager living in London, everything seems to happen so fast and people would say ‘If you live in New York, things keep moving, so keep up.’ I believe that it doesn’t matter where you are. Stay patient and think about everything you experience and just keep trusting yourself and forever you will live beautifully. Your patience is like your safe house. Keep it a secret. Keep it to yourself, and embrace it. Don’t let anyone know about it, where it is, or what is looks like. Your patience keeps you sane, like your safe house keeps you safe.

If you struggle with patience, just think about the beautiful things that exists right there and then. Work on what’s there. That’s all it takes.

ENJOY LIVING 24/7

HOW TO SHOW SUPPORT IN A RELATIONSHIP

In Relationships, Self Help on June 30, 2012 at 10:47 pm

One of the most significant things I have learned about my first relationship is the issue called SUPPORT. Understanding how much support you should give your girlfriend. When to stop giving support. How to not solve their problem, but guide them to a healthy solution. In my last post, I talked about my arrogance. Something that isn’t so obvious, but when you see it, you will be shocked. My arrogance connects to how I am in my relationship. I love everything to be perfect. So when my girlfriend is cranky, I like to get to route causes of her crankiness instead of actually leaving her to deal with it alone. Like over caring.

What I have learned, is if I was single, my girlfriend would find her own solutions to her problems without me. I just seem to always have solutions which can sometimes make me feel superior. The more I allow my girlfriend to stand alone and I stand alone, we cope better. The only problem is, I sometimes get scared we may lead each other into shits, if we don’t give each other a perspective or solution. The solution is finding balance. It is harder to find balance, especially when you  like your girlfriend a lot, or your partner.

My mind works philosophically always (must be my Philosophy classes at college). I always have solutions, and that is my shortfall in life. Knowing things before people do, and being ahead is very lonely sometimes, especially when you see people make mistakes you spotted ages before. It is fantastic too, apart from the fact my emotions are very odd.

So what I tell all the people in challenging relationships, is that you should pay attention to your partner. Listen to them, and allow them to stand alone with courage. Allow them to make mistakes. Find the balance between helping and leaving, and hope for the best. You will really appreciate, like, and/or love your partner, but they need to fight their own battles, and become stronger in themselves. Rather than them relying on you always or feeling inferior.

MY STRANGE DOWNFALL

In Self Help on June 29, 2012 at 5:39 pm

I don’t try to come across as arrogant. I don’t even try to come across as the best person in the world. I just have this unbelievable amount of confidence that keeps me positive every single day. The problem I have in life right now is that I am exploring the world, trying to be the best person I can be and learn everything about myself and others, that I forget how to just chill. I am not talking about chilling in the sense that I am lazy. I can easily be lazy and just allow the world to go by. I already do that, while trying to perfect my life. I  don’t relax in the sense that I am not analysing. I analyse everything, and it works out perfectly fine. I just never switch off. That is my shortfall!

I always have solutions. I always have answers. Even in silence, I am still analysing, but people don’t notice. I don’t have to speak but I am constantly working. I can allow life to flow but in that flow, I am still mentally having a structure that puts me at work. It is like when you are relaxing but you know you are, so you are working. I may not be making sense, but my perfectionist, positive approach in life, brings me down. Just like they say too much of anything isn’t good for you. When I don’t stress, never get angry, and find quick solutions to problems, yes I am flowing but I am not flowing in the sense that I have no idea what is coming next.

Sometimes I wish that instead of not knowing what is coming and being prepared, why don’t I not plan my back up plan and just allow things to fall where they are supposed to. Not try to solve every little thing in the world. Not try to be the perfectionist I am. Simply, just put my mind at rest.

In my relationship, I have this problem where I know what my girlfriend thinks before she thinks it. I don’t tell her of course. So when she finds something shocking or weird, I find it normal as if I knew already. It is like knowing the future without knowing the future. I have my defences ready, and solutions so I am not vulnerable. I constantly tell people, it’s good to feel vulnerable because you are more safe, that tightened up and constraint from movement. My vulnerability causes me to feel pain, but not for so long. I am constantly repairing myself and act as if nothing happened.

CONFUSED LIFE. I am only 17 as well.

 

WATCHING IN SILENCE

In Self Help on May 28, 2012 at 1:49 pm

The power of silence is extraordinary. Extraordinary always keeps us going.

We live in a world where we have to speak to be heard, shout to be heard over those that speak, feel courage to say what we feel, stick by what we say and never change our character when we stand for something. What if silence was the way forward to an extraordinary, positively filled life of prosperity.

What would life be like if we were just silent for a change. If we just kept silent and watched life happen. If we just listened to people and listened to what every individual we came in contact with said. I believe we would learn so much about ourselves and what we truly value and believe in. Progression as individuals is always best when we speak less, listen and absorb.

I have realised that when we are silent, and ask well thought out and valuable questions, we begin to gain respect from those that are afraid to ask questions. In addition, people admire those that have the courage to ask what they don’t know in confidence. Furthermore, when we are silent, we seem to understand a lot more, because we do not beg to speak or to be heard at every given second we have opportunity to chat absolute useless crap. I am not saying be silent always and preserve what you want to say, but instead think before you speak and speak exactly what you mean, as long as you understand what you are about to say, and people are going to understand your thinking out loud thoughts.

Stressful Times Don’t Have To Be Stressful

In Self Help on April 24, 2012 at 11:49 pm

You are living, that is what truly matters.

The fact that you are livning and breathing is more important than anything else. You should never stress yourself out about work or your life. You should always live in the moment and live each day like it is your last. Never become negative about your life or where you are, even if your life is rather challenging or confusing. Always remember that, because you are living, you are okay and that definitely means, you can continue living and keep moving forward.

Your situation is temporary, not permanent.

Never feel your situation is permanent or never ending. You can control your life, and you make it what you want. You have the ability to do whatever you like, or whatever you desire to do or achieve. It is up to you to work for it, and depending on how much you want it, you will not sleep till you taste, feel, and breath success.

Stress can kill you. Believe me.

If you stress yourself out about your dissatisfaction of your life, or your inability to accomplish something, you will not succeed, move forward or sustain a healthy lifestyle.  When you stress out, you focus on one thing, and forget the other priorities in your life. You lose the most important things in your life, and that can leave you blind (figuratively speaking). If you feel constantly stressed, you can lose your ability to function as a human.

Not saying be lazy.

I am not saying casually  allow life to take control of you. Take control of your life and work very hard. Hope for the best, prepare for the worse. Don’t work stressfully hard, but strategically smart and you will forever be successful. The hard work will naturally come after that. Get what you need to get done finished, but if you cannot do it at the pace you think is acceptable, just accept that your body says no. By stopping, you are realising that your health is more important than your desired objective. Continue when you feel like you can give your objective, your full attention.

Have fun.

Whatever you do, try and stay positive. Try and find something interesting about what you are doing, however small the interest is, and use that as your driving force to get something done. If you are able to do that with everything, you will forever survive and conquer any challenge.

Chill out.

Always find time to chill out. Even if you are really busy in your life and what you are doing requires persistency and dedication, still relax. If you don’t, you will go into overdrive. And yes, that can have an effect on your health. Love yourself, so that simply means take care of your body.

LIVE LIFE TO THE FULLEST, BUT WORK STRATEGICALLY SMART, AND YOU WILL BE ABLE TO CONQUER ANYTHING.