TheLookoutDiary

Posts Tagged ‘society’

PLEASING PEOPLE

In Relationships, Self Help on October 21, 2012 at 10:31 am

You know when you do something to please someone?

You know when you do something to make someone like you?

You know when you lose your own sense of identity because you adapted to the personality that fits another person you are trying to impress?

We all know that feeling. The feeling like our own self worth is less than the other person. The feeling of lack of satisfaction, because we lack entertainment in our own lives. It is truly present in today’s society, especially with the rise in advanced technological communications. We all want to please people, because we want to get along with them, and hopefully build a strong friendship with them.

The important question is this: When does our pleasing people personality become detrimental to our own personal developing personality?

I think personally, as long as you don’t go beyond your values and beliefs, and you are aware of what pleasing you are doing, then I think it is perfectly okay. As long as you don’t lose your standpoint, your grounded identity, I guess you can adapt to someone else’s way of life. We all have to do it, because we have to compromise in a life, where everyone has difference. It makes the world a tad more entertaining. Thank God for DNA.

Never do something to please someone unless you truly mean it. Only please someone when you know the outcome is going to make you a stronger, more intelligent, more aware individual. So don’t like Bridget Jones, because the girl you are attracted to likes Bridget Jones. Continue to like Avatar or Spiderman and hope that she accepts you for who you are, and vice versa.

WHY ARE GOOD PEOPLE HARD TO FIND?

In Relationships, Self Help on October 4, 2012 at 9:26 pm

I am confident that, in the end, common sense and justice will prevail. I’m an optimist, brought up on the belief that if you wait to the end of the story, you get to see the good people live happily ever after. – Cat Stevens

I never understood that. I know the world has a lot of awful people. We have terrorists, we have rapists, murderers, pedophiles and crazies. One thing, I never understood is why good people are hard to find. I mean, if everyone is trying to be the best they can be, how come it is hard to find a person that matches your character.

Life throws challenges at us everyday. Challenges that make us think hard. Challenges that make us temporarily fall. Challenges that stretch us way past our comfort zone. The people that stick by you when you go through challenges, and notice and endure your absolute low, and absolute high, are the people that are good and worthwhile people to invest in the long run.

The thing is, everyone’s interpretation of good is different, so I guess it is up to us as human beings to really look deep in ourselves and ask ourselves these two questions:

1. What is a good person to us?

2. Are we willing to be patient, learn from ourselves and learn from others, while being open, so we can increase the chance of meeting a good person that fits our character.

Good people are rare because what one person may think is a good person, another person might think of as a devil. For me, I have met good people, and I have also met bad people. I just want to keep investing in those rare people, while hoping for the best with everyone else I meet in my lifetime.

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON

In Self Help on September 12, 2012 at 8:27 pm

Everything in my life, has happened for a reason. Everything that has happened in your life, has happened for a reason.

I wonder how many people actually believe this amazing accusation. I definitely do. I notice that everyting in the world interconnects in some way that makes the world flow in the most extraordinary, most weird and most beautiful way. Of course many things happen in life that we regret, but if we changed the plan of life and could go back in time, what we experience now or later on in life could dramatically change.

Imagine, the time when you met your best friend, or caught the bus to work, or met your boyfriend or girlfriend for the very first time. Imagine what life would like if you shifted the pattern and path of your life for a split second. I bet you wouldn’t have done or achieved the thing that you have achieved now. That clearly shows that the world is so powerful in its connectiveness.

I went to college yesterday and I had no intention of meeting anyone. I got to college early, because I took an early bus which I just caught and met this person, who is now my friend. I caught the bus with a friend who goes to my church. I suspect that if I didn’t catch that bus, with my friend from church, I wouldn’t have laughed on the bus, or met my new friend at college who I get along with pretty well. The world is so strange in its design, it always seems to amaze me.

I live to be the best everyday. I live to go with the flow. I try to never regret or wish for another outcome. I just accept that this path of life, or this present experience is just powerful beyond measure. Life is beautiful, just the way it is. Why wish to go back and repair what is so fascinating?

When Black Is Not Beautiful?

In Media, Movies, Relationships on January 14, 2012 at 7:44 pm

If you have Twitter, you have definitely seen the trends relating to dark skin v light skin women. If you are not living under a rock, you may have realised that society’s perception of black women is more complex than you think. We live in a society where the media controls our perception of beauty and corporate industries influence our beliefs and shape our personalities. We as people, have become attracted to a certain kind of beauty that the media has taken control of, and as a result, we are easily influenced and our beliefs continually shift. Constant shifting causes us to be insatiable towards beauty.

The media has a clear idea about what beauty is and what beauty should look like in society. If we had to make a definition of beauty in terms of the media, the definition would be as follows.

” As long as you look lighter, you look more beautiful. If you are darker, your beauty is worth less.”

In terms of the media and their control, beauty is exactly that and will never change unless we change our individual perception of beauty. Corporate industries are more likely to put a black woman with really light skin in their million dollar marketing campaign than a dark skinned woman. Even better, they would prefer to put a white woman who hasn’t got a shade of black. We as a society, accept these conditions because we have been conditioned to believe that fairer skin is more attractive, sexy or beautiful. Hollywood is an excellent example of beauty perception. When we see any type of film that is directed by a top Hollywood director, we never see a dark skinned women as the woman of great sex appeal. Instead we see someone that is white. It is like we use dark skinned women as a last resort.

In the clothing industry, the perception of beauty is even more apparent. A prime example of a shop that doesn’t have any advertising campaign with a black woman, or even a light skinned women is Hollister. I really like their clothes and fashion style, but I have never seen a poster with a black woman or advert with a light skin woman. We could say their demographic is middle-class white people, but if so many people of all cultures are purchasing their goods, they should change their marketing demographic a little. It is not like only white people shop there. You have a variety of people, of all nationalities and backgrounds. A different company, with a very similar style that does really well is Ralph Lauren. They cater for the same market, but they appeal to all people, from all backgrounds.

We need to start to appreciate all beauty. I talk to some of my friends from college and as guys we talk about women. A LOT. The conversation is interesting because we talk about typical women everyone likes. Women like Kim Kardashian, Beyonce, Kelly Rowland, Rihanna, Mila Kunis and Katy Perry. What I realise is that we never talk about dark skinned girls. We only ever talk about light skin women, like dark skinned women don’t exist. I mentioned Kelly Rowland, I know. Everyone loves her. She is like the dark skinned beauty queen of the world. I want to talk about the dark skin women we don’t see very often.

Beyonce looks ugly in the picture on the left. That isn’t her natural skin tone. Loreal obviously lightened her skin to make her look more beautiful. When they did that, they were hoping people would buy their product. Obviously, buying the product makes you look beautiful to a certain degree, but when you make a black woman look less black, it shows how the media is so against dark skinned women. Beyonce isn’t the only example. A lot of celebrities have been photoshopped to the max to increase a company’s income and present an idealistic look that isn’t true. We lose our identity and self value entirely. A sort of false consciousness, run by the capitalist society.

I want to stress that all women are beautiful. It doesn’t matter if you are dark skin or light skin. Black women are simply black women. They are all beautiful regardless of skin tone. I would also like to stress that we should appreciate all beauty, not only media’s perception of beauty. We should not be ignorant, stupid and/or foolish by going onto Twitter and any other social sites, debating if dark skinned black women are better looking than light skinned black woman. We should not easily be led by society’s perception of beauty but see the beauty that lies beyond the skin tone. If you are light skinned, appreciate it and feel beautiful. If you are dark skinned, appreciate it and feel beautiful. Don’t fight it and cause yourself to feel out of place. If you do feel out of place, the media has taken control of you.

I would simply like to say that I find it rather strange when a woman appreciates a dark skinned man compared to a light skin man. But when it comes to women, we prefer the opposite. My overall opinion on women, which I haven’t clearly given is this. I love all types of women regardless of nationality. Me being brought up in an African household, I feel closer to black women. When it comes to choosing a dark skinned woman or a light skinned women, I don’t give a shit. Just show me that you are a loving, understanding, caring, honest and a faithful human being and I will love you back. Simple as that.

Lyrical Mad Man or Just A Drop Out Genius

In Hip Hop, Media, Social Media on November 19, 2011 at 6:38 pm

Tyler, the Creator is one of those rap artists that you would cross the street to walk on the other side, than casually run towards him to get an autograph. He is known for his dark and offensive lyrics that make you jump and widen your eyes and think ‘what sort of sick and twisted boy are you?’ We listen to his music and before actually thinking about it deeply, we judge him and call him things like the demon of the music industry.

If we listen to Tyler, the Creator on a deeper level, we start to actually realise that he is speaking sense. He isn’t your typical artist, he goes against the normal structure  of the music industry. Most artist talk about drugs, sex and money whereas Tyler, sadly talks about ‘raping  bitches.’ Yes, that is kinda disturbing but lets go deeper than that.

Lets look at Yonkers for example. Tyler, rebelling against the normal structure of the music industry, makes him an outcast. In society, if we are an outcast, we are seen to not be normal but Tyler, in a strange way, embraces it and curses heavily as a way of saying ‘I don’t care.’ In Yonkers, Tyler contradicts himself a lot in his verses. He says one thing and then comes back saying the complete opposite.

EXAMPLE #1: ” I’m a f-ckin’ walkin’ paradox, no I’m not,

Threesomes with a fuckin’ triceratops, Reptar

EXAMPLE #2: ” While Syd is tellin’ me that she’s been gettin’ intimate with men,

Syd, shut the fuck up, Here’s the number to my therapist, he’s f-ckin’ awesome with listenin

When a person contradicts himself, we think they have no clear idea what they are actually saying. In some cases, that is true. Tyler on the other hand, contradicts himself as a point. He says one thing about himself or something in general and then says the complete opposite. The lyrics about Syd and the therapist is a perfect example. He doesn’t care if Syd is getting intimate with men. She should go and see a therapist because he doesn’t give a shit. He ignores Syd’s problem, like he ignores societies expectations of a mainstream rapper. He is definitely not a mainstream rapper. Neither is his group, OFWGKTA.  We have norms in society and his lyrics are simply mad rather than ‘normal.’ We obviously know, nothing will change Tyler’s lyrics but all we can do is just accept it as his personality. A thoughtful person would say, that by looking at the music video above and his music in general, he isn’t making a point. The truth is that there is no point to make, other than every persons personality is different. Even so, every persons personality is unique. And all one can do, is accept it.

I am not saying Tyler, the Creator is perfect. I am just saying that before an artist is labelled, we need to look deeper at their music to really understand their message. Once we do that, then we can make a valid judgement. It is not shocking that many people make unintelligent judgments because a lot of people, lack the drive to discover how deep the ditch can go. Some will say ‘cool, let me listen to more,’ others will say ‘not my thing,’ and his typical fans will say ‘burn shit, fuck school.’

I want to hear your point of views. Comment below on what you think. I have told you my view, now it is time to share yours. And does it take a intelligent person to do such a thing like this?

Post Inspired by my friend Yasmin O. Follow her Tumblr on http://nocturnaldweeb.tumblr.com/

PURSUIT OF PERFECT! THE DEEPEST GAME

In Uncategorized on July 6, 2011 at 8:54 pm

What is the pursuit of perfection?

The pursuit of perfection in my own eyes is finding what one is really good at and achieving it with his or her maximum potential. I am blogging now so what I want is to write the best blog from the view of a black boy, aged 16 who has a deep interest in life and it’s actual meaning. One of the hardest things I face everyday is writing because I am always trying to think of topics that can actually want people to say ‘I need to read this.’ I hate when I do things and nothing comes out of it, yet I feel like it was going to be massive and grab the eyes of millions.

The pursuit of perfect in my own eyes is understanding that whatever you do, you have to have conviction, commitment, understanding and drive. For example, you want to learn how to drive. You have to have the courage to sit in a car, the commitment to learn, the time to understand the fundamentals of using a vehicle to it’s fullest extent and most of all INTEREST.

The pursuit of perfection in my eyes is slowly gathering lifes opportunities and putting it into a basket (imaginary) and reflecting upon it’s contents. From there you pick opportunites carefully that rock your boat gently and take you on unforgettable journeys. Once on a journey you exhibit unique beauty that only the eye can see.

Lastly the pursuit of perfection is using time wisely to understand yourself greater and look beyond the surface of the colour of your skin but as deep as your character. That all links together to understand the pursuit of perfection.

The pursuit of perfection is the deepest game beyond nature and somehow we control it with our minds. It can either control you or break you into pieces beyond repair.

 

Question: What is your personal pursuit of perfect at this time?